It was a big step for someone on the far end of the introversion spectrum. Spending four days at an Artist’s Retreat with 24 people I’ve never met; challenging to say the least. But clicking submit on the online registration, I felt a rush of excited anticipation … new ideas, fresh inspiration and maybe a kindred spirit or two. Everything seemed possible.
As I drove to the top of the mountain where all good retreats reside, the nagging question refused to be silenced, “Why ever did you think this was a good idea?” It shouted all the louder as I met the most talented and inspirational people and so many of them were extraverts; spontaneous, fun-loving and bubbly … everything I wish I could be. I felt yet again the pain of introversion. Of finding small talk difficult and a crowd overwhelming, of feeling alone in the explosion of excitement. I feared being labelled once more ... shy, socially inept, aloof, arrogant ... I've heard them all before.
As I drove to the top of the mountain where all good retreats reside, the nagging question refused to be silenced, “Why ever did you think this was a good idea?” It shouted all the louder as I met the most talented and inspirational people and so many of them were extraverts; spontaneous, fun-loving and bubbly … everything I wish I could be. I felt yet again the pain of introversion. Of finding small talk difficult and a crowd overwhelming, of feeling alone in the explosion of excitement. I feared being labelled once more ... shy, socially inept, aloof, arrogant ... I've heard them all before.
No day was easy for me but every day was filled with inspiration and wonder … music, art, dance, poetry, writing, photography. A mind-blowing diversity and quality of talent in that small group, but the one thing that stood out above everything else was the shared love of God. And not just in rich times of worship, but in the care and lived-out love that permeated the day to day.
I’m so glad that it was a four day retreat, time for one on one conversations and getting to know something of each other's story ... struggles, dreams and aspirations. Time to realise that behind all the talent and extreme giftedness there are struggles and insecurities. That the road is rugged and confusing at times, whatever our personality. And maybe the expectations and misunderstandings experienced by the most gifted are the hardest of all.
I’m so glad that it was a four day retreat, time for one on one conversations and getting to know something of each other's story ... struggles, dreams and aspirations. Time to realise that behind all the talent and extreme giftedness there are struggles and insecurities. That the road is rugged and confusing at times, whatever our personality. And maybe the expectations and misunderstandings experienced by the most gifted are the hardest of all.
The retreat was held in the mountaintop village of Blackheath, a place of great natural beauty which we got to explore. Our accommodation was set in extensive gardens, magnificent in their winter glory.
I found the leaf at the top of the blog on a morning walk. The sun was shining through it and I was reminded that our beauty shines brightest through our brokenness ... that our mistakes and stuff ups may leave blemishes but they don't obscure our beauty.
I found the leaf at the top of the blog on a morning walk. The sun was shining through it and I was reminded that our beauty shines brightest through our brokenness ... that our mistakes and stuff ups may leave blemishes but they don't obscure our beauty.
I left the retreat yesterday feeling thankful and privileged to have been a part of it; with new ideas, fresh inspiration and having found a few kindred spirits. I left affirmed in my own gifting but aware that for me, courage may be the greatest gift of all. Beyond fear lies the unchartered waters of our potential. Without courage we will never know what we are truly capable of.
"Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brene Brown
"Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brene Brown
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