As I drove to the top of the mountain where all good retreats reside, the nagging question refused to be silenced, “Why ever did you think this was a good idea?” It shouted all the louder as I met the most talented and inspirational people and so many of them were extraverts; spontaneous, fun-loving and bubbly … everything I wish I could be. I felt yet again the pain of introversion. Of finding small talk difficult and a crowd overwhelming, of feeling alone in the explosion of excitement. I feared being labelled once more ... shy, socially inept, aloof, arrogant ... I've heard them all before.
I’m so glad that it was a four day retreat, time for one on one conversations and getting to know something of each other's story ... struggles, dreams and aspirations. Time to realise that behind all the talent and extreme giftedness there are struggles and insecurities. That the road is rugged and confusing at times, whatever our personality. And maybe the expectations and misunderstandings experienced by the most gifted are the hardest of all.
I found the leaf at the top of the blog on a morning walk. The sun was shining through it and I was reminded that our beauty shines brightest through our brokenness ... that our mistakes and stuff ups may leave blemishes but they don't obscure our beauty.
"Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” Brene Brown