A friend of mine died recently. He was 91. He was an active man right to the end. The day was exceptionally hot when he went to his veggie patch to pick fresh salad greens for lunch, something he did each day. When he didn’t return, his wife went looking for him and found he had died right there in the patch. Of course it was a terrible shock for his family, eased only by the fact that he died doing what he loved best. He’d been growing vegetables since he was a boy and the joy of sowing and harvesting his crop had been a constant delight to him.
Several months ago we buried his brother. I wondered then why it takes a death and a funeral to reflect and verbalise what we appreciate about the person who is no longer able to hear how they were valued. Most people would be surprised to hear their eulogy.
Several months ago we buried his brother. I wondered then why it takes a death and a funeral to reflect and verbalise what we appreciate about the person who is no longer able to hear how they were valued. Most people would be surprised to hear their eulogy.
I’ve never heard a eulogy which spoke unkindly of someone. Its as if the finality of death brushes away the dust of dissatisfaction and brings the person’s goodness into stark reality. Things that might have annoyed us in life seem strangely irrelevant. Maybe we suddenly realise the things we’ll miss about them; so often we don’t value what we have until its gone.
I sometimes wonder what will be said at my funeral, what will be remembered, what of my life will be seen of value? How will my life be viewed?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could hear in our lifetime what others think to say in our demise, to get to experience other people’s perspective on our life?
I sometimes wonder what will be said at my funeral, what will be remembered, what of my life will be seen of value? How will my life be viewed?
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could hear in our lifetime what others think to say in our demise, to get to experience other people’s perspective on our life?
Someone said we should all have our wake before we die so we can enjoy the reminiscing, but how much richer life would be if we made a practice of reflecting and verbalising our love, appreciation and the way we value others right here and now while we have them with us. Not just to value what they do but who they are.
I love to tell my grandchildren what I love about their individual characters. There’s something powerful about words of affirmation spoken into our lives.
What do you value most about those closest to you? What haven't you told them that one day you will wish you had?
I think I might start to write some eulogies and give them to the people I love most while they are still around to know how I feel.
I love to tell my grandchildren what I love about their individual characters. There’s something powerful about words of affirmation spoken into our lives.
What do you value most about those closest to you? What haven't you told them that one day you will wish you had?
I think I might start to write some eulogies and give them to the people I love most while they are still around to know how I feel.
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