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Uniquely yours

2/28/2017

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“Here comes the snow, a language in which no word is ever repeated.”
William Matthews.
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There is no one else on the face of the earth quite like you.
 
Your DNA, your personality, gifts and talents make you as unique as a snowflake. Kenneth Libbrecht, Physics Professor at the California Institute of Technology, has microscopically photographed a myriad of snowflakes from different parts of the world and while he said some are similar, he has never found two exactly the same.
 
Unlike sleet and hail, snowflakes form inside the cloud.  The seed crystal itself forms on a tiny particle, like a speck of dust in the air, which serves as a base for ice growth. Water vapor molecules from cloud droplets condense and freeze on the surface of the seed crystal, and patterns emerge as these crystals grow.
 
It sounds to me very like the shaping of our lives. Take the seed of my DNA, gifts and talents, add the experiences of life; the ups and the downs, the skills I’ve learnt along the way and the relationships that have shaped my perspectives, beliefs and values and I realise why no one else will be exactly like me.
 
Even identical twins have different fingerprints. We are unique from start to finish.
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Wilson A Bentley, a self-educated farmer from rural Vermont, began photographing snowflakes in 1885.
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Wilson A Bentley

When I was a little girl I was terrified that I would grow up to be like my maternal grandmother. Born in Britain in the Victorian era, she was stern, severe, and gloomy in manner and appearance.  She believed that children should be seen and not heard. Sadly, she scared me.
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I grew up in very different times. I had been born with a different personality, to parents who came from different sides of the world and had been shaped by their own life journey … my father through life in the coalfields of Wales and my mother born and bred in suburban NSW.
​I was me.
 
There is a awesome sense of privilege and responsibility that comes from realising that there never was and never will be another person quite like you or me; that we each have something unique to offer the world in which we’ve been placed. 

I often feel inadequate; wish I had the confidence of so and so or that I was an extrovert like someone else and yet the person I am and the experiences I’ve had, fit me perfectly for the role God has for me.

 
Suddenly comparisons appear ludicrous.
 
What I have to offer the world can’t be compared to what you have to offer – both are unique and the world needs us both.
 
It needs people prepared to be their authentic self, willing to accept who they are, their strengths and their weaknesses and courageous enough to offer their uniqueness regardless of criticism or praise.  
 
People who can see in every other person, irrespective of race, gender, age, ability or intellect, the fingerprint of God. Able to accept that our differences are part of our uniqueness and we all have something to offer each other. 
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 Celebrate your uniqueness, embrace it with passion and share it with love.
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Missing Christmas

2/21/2017

1 Comment

 
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Photo: Pixabay Public Domain
A few years ago friends came out from England to enjoy an Australian Christmas with us. The tree was decorated, the presents wrapped, food prepared and everything was looking very festive.
 
They were excited about experiencing a Christmas which included swimming costumes and sunscreen, instead of layers and layers of warm clothes, thick gloves and warm boots.
 
We went to the beach, outdoor carols by candlelight, had barbeques and enjoyed the long leisurely evenings together.
 
But as the days went by I sensed a lessening of the excitement. They found the heat exhausting, the cicadas deafening and it didn’t feel like Christmas. All the things that meant Christmas to them were missing, the snow, cosy fires and yes the layers of clothes. I understood. 
 
They enjoyed their holiday but in many ways they missed Christmas.
 
How often do our expectations rob us of the joy of the present moment? Our expectations set up the norm ... maybe an experience of the past that seemed perfect ... it's becomes hard to settle for anything less.
 
But while we are hanging out for what our expectations demand, we are missing out on all the other things that are being handed to us to enjoy.
 
Once I spent weeks planning a special outing for someone, doing what I believed would delight their heart. While they enjoyed the experience they said it was just what they expected I should do. It robbed me of the joy of giving and the other person of the joy of receiving.
 
It was a light globe moment. I realised that if I was merely meeting expectations then nothing I gave could ever be a gift.  

​With no expectations everything is a gift.
 
That day I resolved to live the rest of my life without expectations, not so I wouldn’t be disappointed, but so that everything that comes to me is a gift. 
 
A warm hug is a gift, a kind word, an invitation, a helping hand and a beautiful sunrise. Living without expectations allows for serendipitous moments. Life is richer and more colourful with gifts around every corner.
 
Although I don't always succeed, it's a decision I've never regretted ... it has been life-changing and I've discovered gifts in abundance.
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The most essential life-giving gift

2/14/2017

1 Comment

 
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I was eight years old. Our old rag-top, two-door Morris inched its way through the inky night, torrential rain overwhelming the windscreen wipers, visibility barely a few feet ahead. Somehow my father spotted a man hitching a ride. He had run out of petrol and needed to get to a service station.
 
Dad stopped and let him climb in the back next to me. I remember he was dripping wet and shivering with cold. He thanked my father profusely then turned and said to me, “Your father is a good Samaritan”.
 
I remember feeling so proud of my dad in that moment. It was a feeling I would have many times in my life as I witnessed my father’s compassion and love for people and his quiet, self effacing way of giving of himself to others.
 
How much of our character is shaped by the example of people in our lives?
 
My father once told me about something that happened in his home when he was a boy. The family had just sat down for the evening meal when there was a knock at the door. His mother went to the door and returned saying it was just someone asking for some food. She’d explained that they barely had enough for themselves and sent him away. Immediately his father ran after the man, brought him back, sat him down and gave the man his meal.
 
My grandmother was furious but my father could still remember the words my grandfather spoke, “Hush woman, this man needs a meal much more than I do”.
 
How powerful was that example to a young man … compassion, sacrifice and standing up for what he believed to be right. I can’t help thinking it had a lot to do with the person my father became.
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What is this thing called love?

Dan Allender says, “Love is the most essential, life-giving gift we offer to another human being … Love is not only the summary of the law, but by implication, the central measuring rod by which my life will be judged”
(Romans 13:8-10). 
 
It’s putting the other person’s needs before my own … an act of selflessness and often sacrifice. It sounds noble, but loving well makes us vulnerable and open to be hurt, maybe that’s why love is not often a natural and consistent response in most of our lives.
 
How often in the every day do we consciously make choices based on a heart of love? How often do I ask the question, “What does love look like in this situation” before acting or reacting? Not as often as I would like.
 
Yet I know my life and example speak far louder than my words.  
 
“Is love the most prized possession in our home, the most cherished character trait we pursue, the most central lesson we teach in all we do?”
Dan Allender, Bold Love
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I love the way Frederick Buechner looks at love in his book The Magnificent Defeat:

The love for equals is a human thing – a friend for a friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles.
 
The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing – the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world.
 
The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing – to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints.
 
And then there is the love for the enemy – love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens and inflicts pain. The tortured’s love for the torturer. This is God’s love.
It conquers the world.
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Down a rabbit hole

2/7/2017

1 Comment

 
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I’m not sure I can put my finger on quite what it is about Venice that makes it one of my favourite places in the world. There are so many things to love.  

Mary Oliver once said, “You must never ever stop being whimsical” and that’s just what Venice allows you to be … a little bit like stepping back into your favourite childhood storybook and living the story.  
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It feels like falling down the rabbit hole with Alice and wandering wide-eyed into a place where police and paramedics arrive by boat, tradesmen, deliveries, garbage collectors and even hearses come on water.

There's not a road in sight, just a labyrinth of lane ways, canals and hundreds of quaint, unique bridges crisscrossing the canals. Houses seem to tumble right into the water and colourful flower boxes cascade out of windows and over balconies.

Venice is like no other place on earth.
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I love the way the washing hangs nonchalantly from balconies or above the canals. I love the peeling paint and fractured plaster, all thanks to the rising damp ... the moss covered walls  ... the rusting metal and the way the buildings become vibrant and alive in the afternoon sun.
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It feels like a city bypassed by time … ancient, rustic, elegant and mystical. I love the  history and the architecture ... the craftsmanship and detail that makes a building a work of art.
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I love the beauty of the gondolas ... their vibrant blue covers ... the fun loving gondoliers. 
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Then there's the food, the quaint cafes, trattorias and ristorantes. The food is superb and the settings are magical ... on a canal, in ancient buildings, tucked into back laneways, romantic and chic.
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Shop for antiques by the canal side or buy fruit and veg from the green grocers afloat ... or enjoy the magic of Venice by night.
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If you've been to Venice, I hope you've enjoyed the memories. If you've never been, I invite you to tumble down the rabbit hole into one of the most fascinating, magical and enchanting cities on earth.
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If you're planning a visit, may I suggest renting an apartment. It's the way to live as the locals do and I can highly recommend it. Our apartment was right on a canal ... I could open my bedroom window and watch the gondolas pass by. And an apartment gives you so much more space to spread out and relax when you come home exhausted from a full day exploring. Here is the the rear of the apartment we rented.
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    Author

    Glenyss Barnham
    ​I'm a mother and grandmother who loves  discovering beauty in unexpected places.

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